is it saturday night yet ?!

I am so ridiculously excited for this weekend... well, more specifically Saturday night and our Halloween party! Me and Megan have been collecting decorations to add to my already existing stash for well over a month now and have a ton of awesome stuff to work with. Tonight we started working on setting everything up, and it is starting to look pretty good, but we have a loooong way to go. Poor Megan will be home all alone for most of the day while me, Pat, and Tony are working at the football game. Hopefully I get home early so we can get it all done!


I also made some sweet double sided mustaches for me and Pat (one side is hairy, and the other side is being used for part of pats costume).

___________________________________________________________

[[ ribs. decorations. living room shelves in progress. candle i made. streamers. sweet illustrations. sparkly skull. masks (from monster mash last year. ]] 

That was a sneak peak of some decorations in progress. 

Alright, now I need to seriously go to bed, I have to be at Reeser Stadium at 8am (ewww). Sorry the post was so late tonight! I almost didn't make it in time. I guess I was excited to play Halloween. 

pumpkin carving II

So, as mentioned before, last night me Pat and Tony carved our pumpkins. Loki even tried to help us out a little by licking all the pumpkins before we got started. Silly pups. I think they turned out pretty damn good! Have a look.....

Not too shabby right?! Tony did Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas. Pat did Jack Skeleton, also from Nightmare Before Christmas. and I did a... robot... monster... silly face... thing. Which I love!

pumpkin carving I

Tonight we are finally carving pumpkins... (me, Tony, and Pat). a little late on the game I think, but at least we are finally doing it! I am still debating between a few different things, so I guess you will have to wait and see how it turns out...

Here are me and pats pumpkins before (taken at the pumpkin patch):

[[ my pumpkin orange and green with an awesome stem. pats pumpkin perfectly orange. ]]

Wish me luck!
Hopefully I will have lots of good pictures to post tomorrow.

weekend adventures 5

hello. i forgot to mention friday that i was taking a long weekend, 3 days to be exact! thus, no monday post. (sorry if this one is a little long).

This weekend my older sister Leah was in town for yet another of her friends weddings, so of course, I drove up to Portland to see her. She didn't fly in until around midnight Friday night/Sat morning, and the wedding took up most of the day Saturday, so I decided to take Monday off work to spend a little more time with her. It was also my friend Sam's birthday, so we celebrated Saturday night at a Karaoke bar.

friday night

We had to take the new car to the dealership to get a special paint cover shield... thing... (to my understanding, or lack there of), so Pat and me both drove up to Portland separately after work Friday. We dropped our stuff off at my Dads house, but since everyone was out and about we decided to head downtown for dinner and a few drinks, sort of a mini date night. it was really nice to spend a few hours together away from everyone else, and away from Corvallis. we went to North 45 on 21st street and shared some seriously delicious mussels. 

saturday

Me and Meguenther met up and did a little shopping before heading over to the Eastside to Chopsticks for Sam's birthday party. I got to see some of my favoritest people who I had not seen since me and Pat's birthday party at the end of August, plus Ms. Williams under much better circumstances than last time. My favorite parts of the night were karaoke to Coolio's "Gangsters Paradise" lead by Ricky, Colleen, and Sam, (video coming soon), and me and Megan bringing Sam his birthday present, aka a traffic cone we...found. I have to mention this delicious pizza we ate at the end of the night... as I recall, it had ricotta cheese, mozzarella, spinach, tomatoes, and it came with a demo cd and some imagery for a local jazz band. How freaking awesome is that!!?? Local pizza and local music all rolled into one, and delivered at 3:30 in the morning. Amazing. I can't remember the name of the place though, I will have to do some major searching.

[[ tiffany. hunter. megan. birthday sam. ricky singing "i got five on it". me caught singing (super funny looking, i love it). colleen & hunter dancing it out. ]]

sunday

I did not get home until seriously 5am, so I slept in Sunday, I mean really slept in, until like 12:30... I can't even remember the last time I have done that! the family went to lunch at Kenny & Zukes. We had latkes, pickles, pastrami sandwiches, and macaroons. It was delicious. Sunday night was a mellow night with the fam, and Catherine, which included me building an awesome little Lego house "for Dest" with all my recently discovered old Legos! I seriously love Legos. I will totally play with them by myself, and I did, the five year old was just an excuse.....

monday

Leah, me, my brother Nick, and Catherine went downtown to grab some lunch with Leahs friend Haley at Clyde Common. Catherine wanted to stop at The Duck Store first, which I never thought I would set foot in (having gone to the opposing school)... I did not particularly enjoy that portion of the day, though I think nick might have, seeing as he was chasing me around the store trying to get pictures of me in it! Surprising find, the Eames Lounge Chairs set up in the building... as in, the really expensive authentic ones. I do have to say that they were damn comfortable. Sadly I had to leave before dinner to pick up the car, and then it was back to Corvallis and goodbye to mi familia for a while. I always get sad when I leave after spending the weekend there, my siblings are pretty bad ass.

[[ clyde common menu (not actually pink...). sun break while on the bridge. eames lounge chairs. leah. latte from stumptown. ]]

Thus concludes my long weekend, and now back to the grind.

pocketbooth

Happy friday!

One of my favorite things ever about my phone are the photo aps! I am a sucker for taking photos after all. Yyou might have noticed that most of the pictures posted on here throughout the week are snapshots from my phone). I downloaded this one recently, called 'Pocketbooth'. It is awesome. It is literally like having a little novelty photo booth right in your pocket! As I recall it is also only 99 cents. Fun and cheap?! Sounds like a winner to me. You can even switch from color/black & white, and the front/back camera.

Here are some of the shots we took last weekend at Brad's house party:

[[ me and megan. nate and pat. ]]

The timer is pretty quick so Megan struggled to adjust a bit at first. As you can see, Pat never really figured it out. (hahahahahaha). That picture of him REALLY cracks me up!

i can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars...

(That is actually a lie, I have to hold on or I get scared)

First of all, I NEVER listen to the radio, like seriously, never. I hate it. Generally I am not missing out on anything at all, but sometimes things slip through the cracks. Second, I really like lyrics, writing them down in dingy old notebooks I have had since high school, and analyzing them. True story.

Have you heard this song? I bet you have.... its from like 2007, "Handlebars" by The Flobots. It is awesome. Somehow I had not heard it before this week (wahat?!?), Now that we have been introduced I am in love, and have been literally listening to it on repeat for two days.

The verses sound to me like a progression of life, from caring about things like comic books as a child, to beginning to come into your own, wanting to start a business and feeling liberated and righteous, to becoming power happy and obsessed, which I think is talking about how much power our government has with waging war and over our health care etc. "I can end the planet in a Holocaust...". The progression of the music builds throughout the song as well, becoming more and more dark and intense from the lighthearted beginning. Very political. Very poetic. Very interesting musically.

You should definitely give it a listen if you have not heard it before...

[[ awesome old bikes that sit outside my building. these pics seemed appropriate. (though, they are admittedly pretty bad quality). ]]

look at me look at me

driving and i wont stop.

and it feels so good to be alive and on top.

my reach is global. my tower secure. 

my cause is noble. my power is pure.

 

pumpkin patch (!)

(This is a picture heavy post)

As promised, here are more pictures from the pumpkin patch. I literally took 180 something, so I have a ton I did not include. Some things to point out first: (one) The adventure consists of me, Pat, and Hayden Pts little brother, playing around at the pumpkin patch. (two) We are not experts at navigating corn mazes. (three) That slide was brutal (note Hayden's face and my dirty jeans from sliding too far in the dirt). (four) I am saving the pictures of the pumpkins we actually picked for later.

here are some of my favorites

[[ pumpkin patch pictures taken by me and pat ]]

weekend adventures 4

This weekend was overall pretty damn good. Party on Friday. A decently relaxing Saturday. And a seasonal adventure on Sunday. There were a few mishaps, one being the beavers loss by one point in double overtime Saturday night.


friday night
I got off of work, packed super fast, visited with Sam and his fiance for a very short period of time (they were using our room as a hotel for the night), and me and Pat were off to Portland (in our fabulously comfortable new ride I might add!). Brad's new place was awesome! It is huge. A total party house complete with an extra large basement and a miniature old chandelier that I really wanted to steal and spray paint gold for my house. It was really nice hanging out with everyone, even Meguenther came over to play! The two of us were up in Brad's kitchen talking until seriously 4:30 in the morning.

[[ love. megan is terrible at darts. lampshade? or fez. wonder twin powers activate. my new double ring. pb&j. group with neon hair. kitchen faces. ]]

saturday
Despite getting up pretty early it took us a while to get going. We finally left Brads around 5 and headed over to Nate's place to watch the game. I seriously thought that game would never end! I was so exhausted and ready for bed by the time it was over. Not to mention disappointed from the outcome. My wishes of driving home and crawling into bed did not quite come true though, it ended up being a long night.


sunday
I finally got my wish and convinced Pat to take me to the pumpkin patch!! We did not go to the one with the pumpkin cannon after discovering that it was about an hour away, but instead settled for one in Monmouth, much closer. This farm was pretty awesome though, they had a corn maze, slide, and a ton of pumpkins to choose from. Not to mention that Sunday was a gorgeous day!! It was warm, sunny, and overall perfect pumpkin picking weather (if there is such a thing). Hayden even decided to come too... and I have to say, that despite their best efforts to prove how silly the pumpkin patch is, both boys were running around excitedly like little kids and completely enjoying themselves as well.

[[ lots of pumpkins. corn maze. super excited hayden. adorable baby cow. ]]

I actually busted out my Nikon for the pumpkin patch, so I took a lot of good pictures. I will post more tomorrow, the epic pumpkin adventure should after all, get its very own post. These four pictures are a mini preview...

work.work.work.

Today I got bombarded at work. Blah.
I just got home (2 hours late) and brought my work with me, which makes this feel kind of like school again... homework?! So I have no time to post today and will have to save my weekend adventures for tomorrow.

BUT I did get to enjoy this fabulous sunset on my drive home. and, amazingly enough, sitting here now, only ten minutes after my drive, it is completely dark outside. I guess winter is coming after all.

[[ view from western blvd. ]]

tgiff

I am super pumped for this weekend! I can definitely tell I am starting to get back to being myself, because I have been getting more excited about things lately. Which makes me really really happy.

Tonight me and Pat are heading up to Portland for our friend Brad's housewarmimg party at his new place. After being surrounded by 18 year olds all the time, courtesy of Pats little brother, I am really excited to actually hang out with some people in my own age bracket. In fact, there is a great possibility that I will be the youngest person there... thats more like it. The plan for saturday is breakfast at the Screen Door ?! (fingers crossed) and football. Sunday, if I get my way we will FINALLY go to the pumpkin patch. I am voting for the one with the pumpkin cannon, thats right, they shoot pumpkins out of an actual cannon. Awesome. Plus, last year there were bunnies there!

Have a great weekend.

[[ the open road. current polish (aqua - sinful colors). ]]

fog machine

I feel like this entire week has been dragging on! Every day has felt like a Friday to me so far, Its totally weird. I am so beyond excited that tomorrow is the actual Friday!!!

Here is something else fancy about this week... each morning has looked like a fog machine exploded everywhere. I love fog, it makes everything look so still and surreal and eerie. I do not however, enjoy the extra cold that comes with it... I feel like I have been trying to warm up all day, even though it is now sunny and in the upper 60s (which is not warm mind you, but a lot warmer than the whooping 30 it was this morning). It is pretty crazy how much everything can change in one day.

[[ view from my office window ... left: morning. right: afternoon ]]

 I wish it was easier to capture the elusive fog with a photo, granted these were just snapped with my phone and nothing fancy. Hmm, maybe I have some fog capturing to do with my Nikon soon.

the great pumpkin

So, Pat has been going on about this movie since I started talking about the Halloween movies that I wanted to see last week. I never grew up with Charlie Brown so I had not really seen any of it before, all I knew was that Lucy was mean, Charlie Brown is terrible at kicking footballs, and Linus always carries a blankie. I will admit it was pretty damn adorable. I liked the very beginning when Linus brings in the perfect pumpkin, Lucy starts carving it with a knife, and he starts crying and yells, "I didn't know you were going to kill it!" Silly. They talk pretty funny too, using 'big words' like notarized... and for some reason, Snoopie seems to think he is a WWII fighter pilot who was shot down in France?

[[ images from the special. click here to watch a clip ]]

One Halloween movie down, lots more to go...

halloween costume

So, I FINALLY figured out what to be for Halloween this year. I was getting really nervous because I had no idea that I was getting excited about (which is really weird for me by the way... I love dressing up).

This past weekend when I was sitting in the car with Megan I was going over some of the ideas I had for costumes and the second I started explaining this one we both got really into it, so that was that. Plus, this costume had a great selling point for Pat, "You get to carry around your pipe all night..."



Figure it out yet??

We are going to be Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson! (Well, more or less, i am a girl after all, and will not be rocking a mustache... sorry Pat).

[[ sweet legos! source unknown. robert downey jr. in costume. emma watson for burberry. ]]

I want to go more scruffy like the movie characters than the prim and proper originals, so something more like Robert Downey Jr.'s character for Pat, and something more like the image above of Emma Watson for me, but with some 'Victorian' accents thrown in... Great excuse to finally buy a trench coat by the way, I have wanted one for years. The best thing is, all I have left to find are my shoes (assuming everything I ordered works out), and some add ons for Pat from the fabric store. Yay!

weekend adventures 3

This weekend was pretty much exactly what i needed! It had a little bit of everything, a visitor, some drinks, shopping, and even a last minute concert.

friday night
Meguenther Megundo Megan, which ever you prefer, decided to come down and visit me for the weekend! (finally I might add)... I like living with boys over a bunch of girls most of the time, there is no question about that, but sometimes I just need to talk about clothes and running into people from high school with someone, and thats where megan comes in. We made some drinks, played some cards, smoked some hookah, stayed up way too late, and laughed a lot throughout the night. It was perfect.


saturday
First of all, let me just mention that we slept in, I mean really slept in... I can't even remember the last time that happened, so it was kind of a big deal to me. After a bomb breakfast me and Megan went "shopping" about as much as you can in Corvallis anyway, which means TJ Max and Ross, pretty pathetic. Regardless we both got some goodies, always do. More importantly I FINALLY decided what me and Pat are going to be for Halloween (*phew*), more on that later though... we also stopped by Safeway and I picked out some cute baby pumpkins and gourds because I couldn't stand waiting any longer to go to a pumpkin patch, fingers crossed I make it there soon though.

[[ some pumpkins & gourds. surprise 'ghost' cupcakes chocolate with a vanilla peanut butter frosting, and little eye balls. funny faces... i was trying to look like snookie...fail. smoke. one of the pairs of boots i bought (surprisingly comfortable). detail on new flats. a card megan brought me of alice. ]]

sunday night
Me, Pat, and Tony decided to say screw it and head up to Portland Sunday night for the As I Lay Dying, Unearth, and All That Remains concert at the Roseland. It was pretty freaking epic. I am so happy that I can sit up in the 21+ balcony now! The floor was the craziest I have ever seen it, I don't think I would have been able to handle getting kicked in the head by crowd surfers and fighting through everyone to get a glimpse of the stage. As I Lay Dying had a pretty sweet light show too. Needless to say, I am really tired today after not sleeping for long enough at all.

[[ some pictures from the show. the videos look a lot better... but you get the idea. ]]

cupcakes galore!

So... this week ended up having a lot to do with cupcakes! Not a bad thing, since they are adorable and delicious.


first (wednesday).
Pats super adorable friend Sara runs her own cupcake business where she makes equally adorable baked goods under the appropriately titled name Baby Cakes Bakehouse. She posted something earlier this week about needing a business card sized ad asap and that she would pay someone in free cupcakes if the ad didn't "suck". I thought to myself, hey, I love cupcakes, they are cute and delicious, I should throw something together. So, I played around with her pretty cupcake pictures, and, long story short, I am getting some free surprise cupcakes!!! I wonder what they are???

Check out her website for a photo gallery of the menu. My favorite part about Sara's cupcakes is that they are named after characters and things from some of my favorite childrens books. Here are some examples: Mad Hatter, Blustery Day, Crookshanks, Unbirthday Cake, and Felix Felicis. (From Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, and Harry Potter if you are confused).

second (thursday).

Thursday morning I was off to a late start (as usual), I ran downstairs to leave and noticed a box sitting near the front door. I quickly scooped it up for further inspection only to reveal that the specialized tape contained a familiar logo... ST. CUPCAKE! But where did it come from? I walked upstairs with the box in hand to search for some scissors and ask Pat if he was expecting anything, which he quickly said no to. Upon opening the box I noticed a card with a nice little message to me and Pat from none other than my older sister Leah! In one of the sweetest gestures EVER she ordered me and Pat a build your own cupcake kit to cheer us up because she knew we had been feeling super sad about Johni lately and could use some sweetness! It made me feel super loved, and really thankful for my awesome friends and family.

(I should also mention that st. cupcake is sort of a sister/family tradition. We love it. We have been going for years. We make sure to stop by every time Leah comes home to visit. Its pretty much the cutest little place ever). Here are some pictures of what we found inside:

[[ cupcake making kit consists of: 6 different cupcake flavors (chocolate, vanilla, chocolate chip, vanilla toffee,  red velvet), 6 different frostings (cream cheese frosting, coffee, chocolate, and vanilla buttercream), 6 different types of sprinkles (rainbow, pink, blue, yellow, chocolate, and dried coconut). ]]

P.S. Me and Pat made the chocolate chip ones last night with cream cheese and chocolate buttercream frosting and put the pink and blue sprinkles on top. They were delicious. Yummmm.

college :: year V

year 5 // senior year (osu)

[[ pirate party. sam/colleen/tiff. tiff at harrisons for hunters birthday. halloween. johni. group. colleens birthday. superhero party group. tiffany. my mustache is better than yours. fran. tiffs bday / vampire party ]]

Our last year was bittersweet (for me anyway). I was excited to be able to take a break from school, but at the same time I knew that big changes were up ahead and I was not necessarily ready for them yet. I also knew that the closer we came to the end of the school year, the harder it would be to see each other regularly as everyone started moving away. We had a TON, I mean a TON of theme parties this year and started some new traditions, all the while struggling with Packaging Design and our Senior Thesis projects.  I feel like we had so much fun this year because it went by super fast and everyone got really close. This is my other favorite year of college. (the first & the last).

______________________________________________________________

[[ senior thesis show in pdx. graduation. ]]

I have to briefly mention our show and graduation (more on this later??)

... I didn't feel like I could breathe until both of our Senior Thesis Shows in Corvallis and Portland were done. Then it was graduation, which was like a whirlwind. I feel like I hardly got any pictures because it felt so sudden, and everyone was so exhausted from our show in Portland the night before. But I will say, walking up to the stage in front of all of those people and being handed a college diploma with MY name inside of it was pretty surreal. I of course opened it up right away to make sure, and then gave Andrea Marks (one of our professors) a big hug before walking out forever. ......And that was college.

P.S. I had fun looking back through hundreds, maybe thousands of old pictures and making these... The further away I get from them the more entertaining they will be to revisit I am sure.

fin

college :: year IV

year 4 // junior year (osu)

[[ brad (i hate it when people do that!). NKF. sanchos. johni. nerds. meguenther. tailgaters. gd group. molly. pat. francisco. tiffs birthday. ]]

This was the year that the real design work started, so it is not surprising that I spent my time primarily with other people in the program. Fall and Winter went by fairly uneventfully, I was mostly hanging out with Brad and Pats friends. With spring came Collaborative Processes class, which was absolute hell and absolutely amazing (looking back) at the same time. I got really close with my magazine group, and although people seemed to assume that me and Tiffany had previously been the best of friends, this was when it started actually becoming true. I went out in town for her 21st birthday, and from then on we were always together. :) I also met some other people I now call my best friends. Overall Junior year academically was a pain in the ass, but yielded some sweet rewards and many drunken adventures (I was now 21 after all...). 

P.S. Is this more like it Ms. Williams? Do I finally look like myself? ...Well for the most part, I had not ditched the straighter quite yet.

weekend adventures 2

As promised, I would like to get back in the habit of posting my 'weekend adventures' at the beginning of every week (normally on a Monday, but this weekend was a little different, and as you know one event got its own post yesterday).

saturday afternoon

Me, Pat, and Tiffany went to Johni's memorial service in Estacada. Again, it was beautiful, and it just so happened that the weather turned out beautiful as well. In the morning it was somber and overcast, but as we drove closer and closer the sun came out and everything became more vibrant. I started to get a little panic-y and upset while we were driving there, so I decided to take some pictures of the scenery to calm my nerves and take everything in.

saturday evening

After the ceremony Tiffany drove back home and me and Pat followed some of the close friends and family members in attendance up to Brandons' parents house. It was really nice to spend some time with him and all the guys we have not seen in a few years (it is amazing that it has been that long!). We watched the Beavers win, drank a few drinks (some more than others), shared funny memories, and ended the night with a HUGE, I mean seriously HUGE bonfire! Unfortunately my documentation does not do it justice, but when that thing started it was amazing, It looked like the flames went on forever. 

[[ above: country drive. below: bonfire. ]]

sunday

We got up in the morning, visited with my Dad and sisters a little bit, and then rushed off to look at a few more cars. (incase you are not aware, me and Pat have been shopping for a second car, and figuring in a budget for it, for several months now). We test drove a 2010 Nissan Maxima for the second time, among a few other used cars, and ultimately ended up sitting in the Subaru, in a parking lot, trying to decide what to do next. 


Any guesses? 
We ended up doing something kinda crazy.............. 
WE BOUGHT A CAR! 

We ultimately went back to the Nissan. Think what you will, but we decided that this car felt a lot more luxury than some of the actual 'luxury' cars we had been looking at. I sort of had a lingering feeling that we would end up coming back to one of these because Pat has really had his eye on them since we started looking. It is a lot bigger than the Sube, but we definitely wanted something with a bit more space. It is comfy as hell, it is fast, it has a sun roof, it is shiny and a pretty color, and pretty damn perfect looking inside and out considering it is a used car after all. 

[[ above: new car. below: pat driving home. ]]

So that is that, our first big purchase together...

Oh, and you know what else this means???!!! It means that I, Jennifer Blechman, at the rightful age of 24, finally have my own car for the first time EVER! Thats right, the sexy little black Subaru is mine mine mine, all mine. ♥♥♥

closure part II.

I decided that I have to post a little bit about Johni's service, it was really beautiful and I wanted to share some aspects of it here. I also want to put up a little bit more of her art work I have pictures of. I know it seems like that is all i talk about lately, but it is pretty much all I think about and a big part of my life right now, so that is just the way it is. I promise I will focus on some more lighthearted topics after this... I just feel like I have to 'write the last page before i can close the book', cheesy as that sounds. I do not like unfinished business, especially business as important as this.

The painting below was said to be only halfway finished. I am curious as to where she was going with it because it seems so much more light and airy than the bulk of her works...

[[ unfinished painting. manifesto. ]]

This Saturday, as I mentioned last week, me and Pat attended Johni's memorial service in Estacada. Tiffany also decided to join us there, which I was really happy about. There were a tremendous amount of people, which I thought was pretty amazing. Obviously she has impacted so many people throughout her short span of life. The ceremony itself was beautiful and full of emotion.
Brandon gave a great speech that made us all laugh and cry. One of her cousins read excerpts from an artist blog she held while showing off some of her sketches. At the end there was a slideshow of pictures that took us through her entire life and had everyone in tears. I was honestly surprised to see that some of my photographs I posted here earlier provided the end images in the slideshow, with this image of her being last. That made it so special to me, and I will never forget it. Afterwards they held a little art reception where some of her prints and paintings were on display, and there were even takeaways (some prints of her favorite pieces) tied up with black yarn. Below are some of her works we took pictures of:

[[ title unknown. crane and balloon. raven. lungs. ]]

I am really into how dark and textural these prints are, both in terms of content and color. i would love to have a copy of the 'crane and balloon' to hang on my wall.

________________________________________________________________

final 'word' on the subject :: 

beautiful lyrics to growing old is getting old, by silversun pickups. ♥

so we all are growing old, and its getting old.

pressure on our hallow bones and the varicose.

suddenly, i decompose. but were not alone.

so we all are growing old.

maybe were sealed in silence. maybe we feel the guidance.

maybe your only vices will keep you afraid and cold.

but i...

memorize your smile lines from left to right.

came to life in childlike reaction time.

were allowed to expire with ourselves in mind.

still we all are growing old.

put out the fear of silence. and put out the need for guidance

and put out your only vices. and dont be afraid of the cold.

we sing. we sing. we sing.

we fight. we fight. we fight.

we cry. we cry. we cry.

we slide. we slide. we slide into the light.

do we sing. we fight. we cry.

we slide. we slide. we slide into the light.

maybe were sealed in silence. maybe we feel the guidance.

maybe your only vices will keep you afraid and cold well...

put out the fear of silence. and put out the need for guidance.

and put out your only vices. and dont be afraid of the cold, afraid of the cold. 

afraid of the time we've got no where to go but here.

closure part I.

first things first. 
Today is the first day of October, which to me (based on the strangely warm Oregon weather as of late), marks sort of the beginning of the fall season in general, and an end to the summer months and all of the emotional events they brought with them this year. Though I am sad to see carefree summer go away for what seems like an eternity (and I know once we are covered in perpetual rain I will regret admitting this), I am ready for a change, ready to move on. August was really hard. September was REALLY hard. And now that we are into October I feel like I have a fresh start, and new things to be excited about! For example... candy corn, pumpkins, anything pumpkin scented or flavored, Halloween(!), being surrounded by pretty colors as the leaves change, bundling up inside relaxing with some hot chocolate and Pat on a rainy day (wishful thinking), and the seasonal October movies such as: Hocus Pocus, The Addams family series, and anything Tim Burton(!!).


second, and more importantly. 
Tomorrow is Johni's memorial service in Estacada. me and Pat, and I am sure a ton of people we have not seen in a few years will be there. I am extremely nervous about it! I have never been to anything like this before, and I have no idea what to expect. On the other hand, I am extremely happy that we are able to be there to remember her and say goodbye. I know it is going to be a really hard day, but I feel like it will provide some sense of closure and allow us to truly come to terms with the fact that she is gone, and hopefully in a much better place. (Again, not being religious, I am still not really sure what that means, but I would love to believe it for her).

( Side note, Johni loved to paint and play with types of printmaking. Abstract trees were one of her favorite subjects. The branches were always twisting in strange new patterns filled with a lot of movement. She was also really good at blending colors with acrylic paints. Something I have yet to master. Below are three of her pieces. The bottom one her take of a self portrait. She also did a really awesome wood carving based loosely on Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven' that I love and wish I had to post. )

[[ lovely work by johni keller ]]